IN BETWEEN

As I shut my eyes tight abed, I want to be gone.

I don't want to be lost to the eternal darkness,

But I do not wish to see the light soon, either.

I just want to be in between; I want peace.

In the dark, I will miss the light; I will miss you.

I will miss the feel of your face, the sweet words you echo, and the feel of your soft buttocks.

But in the dark, I will be free of your dishonesty, your plastic heart.

Yet, that isn't enough to keep me away forever.

In the light, everything unravels: the good, the beautiful,

The bad, and the life-threatening.

The rainbow and the lightning thunder that roars sudden fear.

In the light is the beach, the breeze, and your beautiful face.

But in the light is the forest, the thorns, and your ugly heart.

The light shines not only on the good; it reveals the horrors and demons that want to eat me alive.

It reveals the inescapable thorns your beautiful fruit of love is trapped in.

The light shines on my glory days, and it also reveals my days of doom; it shines and casts shadows of the demons I created.

So...

As I shut my eye lids abed, I want to be gone

But I want my heart to beat

When the morning sun rises, and the cock crows.

I don't want to see it, I just want to be in between -

The world of those who blink, and of those who don't.

Just stride on the thin thread of the unknown

And if I don't find a strong feet and loose my balance

And my sorrowful heart stops giving hope

I need the strength to sashay through hell

But if I am pulled back to the living, I guess it'll be another day in hell.

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"and when the sword pricks and pierces your heart, but it tickles-

 Maybe , maybe that's peace.." – In the sad words of Damartiannizcreative